Movie goss

Eagle Eye and the stars watch as a Middle Eastern chap gets fried with it

I digested a bag full of licorice, I’m now feeling nausea but cannot decide whether it’s the movie or too much licorice that is to blame.

I won’t spoil the plot for you (although I presume if you have half an interest in new movies you would have read about it online anyway), but suffice to say that if you are over 30 years of age, the following clue will reveal all:

“Open the pod bay doors, Hal”

Mix that clue with Enemy of the State and you have a good idea why this movie failed to move the earth around me.

Look, the acting talent is … well… talented. I loved Billy Bob Thornton until the lead-in to the climax, the girls in the audience went gooey over Shia LaBeouf, the guys were very comfortable watching Michelle Monaghan (especially when she was ‘dressed up’ in the final few scenes), and the cgi work was impressive.

I just can’t help thinking that most of the money went in the wrong direction. Many was the time when Billy Bob Thornton was the only cast member visible, chasing an out-of-shot Shia and Michelle. A few less dollars spent on exploding cars and a few more on more believable characters would have helped.

Much of the plot line unfolds in text-book fashion. Indeed, I was thinking of all the possible directions each new plot mark could have taken us, and I didn’t need to expend a lot of energy.

And the ending? My 15 year old stepdaughter loved it, because it was typical Hollywood: happy ever after. Never mind the fact that Michelle is still living in the same dishevelled abode, that she wasn’t present at the medal ceremony, that she didn’t seem to have spent any of the money the Government no doubt must have given her to shut her up and buy her silence… But we had the dreamy-eyed stare of fate-crossed lovers, so that’s alright, then.

Jim Shembri over at The Age calls it “the thinking dude’s action thriller” and awards it three and a half stars. My stepdaughter gave it five stars and said she wanted to buy it when it comes out on dvd.

Me? I give it two and a half; it isn’t taxing, it doesn’t make you think (it gives you no opportunity to), and the cast are all eye-candy of one sort or another.

And with that review over, I’m off to ‘experience’ the movie and see what ‘extras’ I can score that might make me change my mind. I’m not hanging by a rope waiting…